Human Drains, Faerie Drains

I’ve had many people ask me how Gnome Candles are made, and why they cost so much more than regular candles.

Obviously…they are made…in your heart.

Good, now that’s sorted, I thought I’d take a bit of time out each week to answer some of the most pressing questions about my work. I’ve had a curious number of you ask about plumbing in the faerie realm, which I feel I must address because they don’t have any. Faeries bathe in moonbeams, which provides them with both sustenance and personal hygiene in one. No need for plumbing when it all happens outside.

It seems that people think the faerie realm is simply ours, with faeries. Like there’s a faerie Melbourne, drain cleaning happening just as it does in normal Melbourne. Or faerie brain unblocking! Faerie toaster ovens! Faerie Centerlink lines!
No, what you must understand is that is some ways, faeries have moved on. In others, they simply differ from our human realm. We use water and drainage systems, so we need drain unblocking or repair. Moonbeams are obviously not the same substance. As for moving on…well, it’s hard to argue that a lack of long Centerlink queues makes for a better world, especially when you’re sitting in one trying to meditate in full ceremonial garb and people keep giving you strange looks that disrupt both aura and qi. Shameful.

Plumbing is our way, and the mystical light of the moon is theirs. Though from what I’ve managed to divine from ancient tomes, they might have moon maintenance teams, sort of like how Melbourne’s drainage contractors. That could just be my interpretation, however.