Pests: Now the Fairest of Game

Dear ones…I respect the sanctity of all life, you know that. Life in all its forms is precious to me, as we are all bound by many things: ether, energy and Mother Gaea herself. Birds, beasts, humans…some parking attendants. And yet, yesterday I received a rather comprehensive vision. Usually they are disjointed and mystical dreams that must be interpreted, but the Ancient Council must have thought this was a particularly important piece of information. I was visited by a disgruntled fairy public services officer in my dream, who comprehensively listed the animals exempt from the sanctity of life. He had a clipboard and everything. I was as surprised as you are now!

Naturally, I immediately rang the Sorrento pest control officers, since now I could support such an industry. In fact, they have been doing some magnificent work up to now.

In case you are wondering, my friends, the list included both ants and cockroaches, but only when found in your home. Spiders only qualify in great quantities. Mosquitoes are an enemy of all life and must be exterminated wherever we see them…I got the strong impression that they are not living being at all, but instead constructs of a dark power. This would explain why they are so irritating.

Sometimes we get these updates from the land beyond, and all we can do is bow to their superior wisdom. Rejoice, for now if you need pest control in Frankston, you may simply let the professionals do their thing. The work is blessed by the realm of light! And by me of course. Awful little things those white ants. Were there some kind of spell, chant or mass prayer that would remove them from every land, I should surely organise such a thing. And the world would be better for it! I know that may be a strange thing to hear from an animal lover like myself but insects don’t count.