Oriium

My dear, sweet children, spiritual seekers and skeptics alike. I welcome you all! A copy of my mystical welcome is available from the gift shop at a limited edition price of $14.99, VHS only, and purchase within the next hour to receive a free vial of my distilled meditation air. Simply open, waft around your meditation space and feel your chakra buzzing!

Anyway…sadly, we are bound to this life of physical things, and thus we make do. Why, just this morning, I awoke to find ants in my bread bin, and most other places! Thank heavens for Mornington and its pest control experts, those who have devoted their lives to snuffing out that which would consume the very bread that sustains us. You may say, ‘Orium, how do you justify the slaughter of so many innocents?’

My children, do not despair at such a thing. Pest control is a part of human life. Many animals can be tamed, and failing that, they do not bother us. Such is the sacred balance of nature, the way such things have always been. However, these insects have broken a sacred pact. They have invaded our homes and become a nuisance when the outside world still holds everything they need for life. This betrayal must be met with force! Fear not to call down the pest control experts, for their ways are righteous! Termite control is perhaps more important, for such beasts gnaw away at our very infrastructure…and in a way, our souls at the same time.

This is my word on the matter. Oh, most Frankston termite control people are ignorant as to the nature of chakra and universal balance, but…in their own way, they are helping to maintain the ancient system. A poster info-graph of the ancient system is available from the gift shop, now only $9.99! Postage not included.

-Orium