Topic of the day: am I a narcissist?
I went to see my psychologist yesterday, something I’ve been doing off and on for years now when I’m struggling to cope. I’ve started seeing her on a fortnightly basis in recent times, not because I’ve had a nervous breakdown or a psychotic episode or anything too crazy, just because my mum’s been diagnosed with cancer and it’s been a pretty rough time for me. Anyway, yesterday I went in with a pretty clear idea of what I wanted to talk about (hint: it wasn’t my self-absorption) but somehow we just ended up on that topic.
After doing a test or two, she determined that, no, I am not, in fact, a true narcissist, but that I tend to use talking about how great I am as a way of covering up my insecurities. Crazy, right? So she suggested I try something outside my comfort zone.
Something just like, for example, ice skating. Melbourne has an amazing, state of the art arena located really close to me, just over in Docklands, and I’ve been talking about going since it opened up but have somehow just never done it. Even though it’s been years. I’m actually getting really excited about it, but in typical me fashion, have been researching the heck out of it before I actually find the courage to go. For instance, it turns out that the arena I want to go to functions as kids birthday party venues in Melbourne, so I can’t just rock up on the weekend if I want to avoid the squealing little devils. I have to time it right.
I mean, it shouldn’t be too hard, I’m a uni student so I have weekday afternoons and stuff off, but still. I don’t really want to do it on my own. I’m not quite that brave.